More Boring Legal Stuff

You just had to click on that link, didn't you? All along, we knew that you were just the kind of jackass who would click on a link for more boring legal stuff in hopes you could find out who owns this site and then maybe sue them. Well, too bad, jerky! We're not going to tell you that this site is owned by Maggie Brooks, or Bob Duffy or WHAM or the Democrat and Chronicle, because it's not.

This site is owned by a person far more intelligent than you, that's for sure, but, just in case you're still dissatisfied, here's more legal stuff for you.

HOLD HARMLESS: You shall hold me in your arms and call me "harmless." Oh, you sweet thing.

INDEMNIFICATION: You agree, by reading this line of text, yes, this one, that you will not indemify anybody at any time for any reason. Now, do yourself a favor and look up the word "indemnify."

COMPLETE CONTRACT: Your agreement to read the complete nonsense on this page does not involve any kind of contract, so the only thing complete is your ignorance.

TAXES, DEATH: Yeah, the only two things for certain in this world, in order.

RIGHTS OF SURVIVORSHIP: Did you see "Survivor" last night? I thought the girl in the bikini was lying. She's such a schemer, the little tramp. Right?

SEVERABILITY: The owners of this website reserve the right to server limbs from anyone who tries to do us harm. Limbs include arms and legs, of which most people have two. Not included are noses and ears, or that funny, little thing between your legs, in which nobody is particularly interested. You can keep that for yourself, but be careful how you pull on it. You might just sever it yourself, by accident.

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Rochester1.com is a whlly-owned subsidiary of Downtown Magazine. Due to the nature of the material presented (mostly satire, humor or snarky commentary, but often enough, real news) the operators and contributors to this website often crave anonymity and immunity from lawsuits, which is sometimes not possible.

All material contained on this site is for entertainment purposes only and any similarity between characters presented on this website and real people are coincidental, unintentional, possibly intentional, purposeful or probably a case of some sanctimonious snobs thinking too much of themselves.

While every effort is made to distinguish humor and satire from actual news, we have been forced (someone actually held guns to our heads) to institute a color-code, so that people with IQs of less than 70 (and some higher) will not be confused. We regret any errors. We don't really know what we're doing.